BROCTMAN'S MEMORIAL HOSPITAL: June 24, 1974

Stuart Z. Perkoff & Philomene Long

Stuart's final words just before he passes away...



Stuart asks Philomene to bring a tape recorder to the hospital saying he "had a poem in him." The following is a transcript of his final hour.

Philomene: (strokes Stuart's forehead, brushing his eyebrows)

Stuart: They're worth more after the death.

Philomene: What is the pain teaching you?

Stuart: To obey.

Stuart: What do you think happens at the dying?

Philomene: It looks like light. It feels like love.

Stuart: What do you think happens after the dying?

Philomene: It is all right, no matter what the condition.

Stuart: (raising clenched fist)   Don't let the Lady own you.  I don't like it. I don't like it.

Philomene: What's that, honey?

Stuart: The Lady.

Philomene: You don't like her?

Stuart: Her owning me.

Philomene: Oh. You don't like her owning you.

Stuart: Yeh. I hate it.

Philomene: But she..she wrote poems through you, Stuart.

Stuart: Uh huh.

Philomene: And that was very beautiful.

Stuart: Yeh, oh yeh.

Philomene: That is what you lived for.

Stuart: Uh yeh. Oh yeh.

Philomene: Do you think she owns me too?

Stuart: Yeh.

Philomene: Same Lady?

Stuart: Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeh...

Stuart: Oh...She said...oh..

Philomene: Oh, Stuart.

Stuart: I'm hungry.

Philomene: Are you hungry? Can I get you some ice chips?

Stuart: I...water.

Philomene: I'll help you honey.

Philomene: You're feeling cooler.

Stuart: Uhum...uh huh...

Stuart: Get the tape recorder...did you get it on?

Philomene: That help?

Stuart: Yeh. Uh huh...

Philomene: Did you ever get that poem out this morning?

Stuart: Uh huh.

Philomene: You did?...What was the poem?....You don't remember.

Stuart: Uh...Can you get this?...The tape recorder...Can you get it?

Philomene: The tape recorder is on. Would you want to try? Or should you

wait? It seemed important to you this morning.

Stuart: Tape recorder...Now. Yeh......Should have tape

recorder.....poem.....by....It is very important that the poem survive.....I

will have to tape record it..."

Philomene: When you're feeling better, Stuart.....wait til you're temperature

goes down. We have a tape recorder now...

Stuart: Uh huh.

Philomene: ...and we'll do it then. But you'll have to wait till your

temperature goes down......Feels like you're temperature is going down, honey.

Stuart: (indecipherable) What, honey? Ice chips....You feel cooler, honey.

Stuart: (coughs, cries)

Philomene: Ice chips, honey?

Stuart: No.

Philomene: No?

Stuart: Turn the tape recorder on.

Philomene: What's that, Stuart?

Stuart: Why?

Philomene: What's the matter, honey?

Stuart: I can't ......me...feel like this...like...try...

Philomene: What doesn't...

Stuart: The ache. The ache.

Philomene: It feels like...

Stuart: It feels....

Philomene: It does? Your arm...Does it feel ok now?

Stuart: No.

Philomene: No, honey, no?

Stuart: It hurts.............can't feel it....the thing...Feel very tired.

Feel like I don't know...where the real fire is.

Philomene: The real fire?

Stuart: (laughs) Yeah.... in this....what do you think?

Philomene: Stuart, I din’t hear what you said.

Stuart: Oh. What do yo think of the kids?

Philomene: What kids, Stuart? Your kids?

Stuart: No. The kids that work here.

Philomene: That work here?

Stuart: Yeh.

Philomene: I think some are nice....some......What do you think?

Stuart: I don’t know. Some are all right. Some I hate....To be...

yeh........oh.....I feel. I feel horrible again...oh..oh....water.

(Nurse give treatment with suctioning machine. Stuart cries "Oh, oh.....don't hurt me....Ow..ow...ow,,,,," Nurse leaves)

Philomene: What honey? Ice chips?

Stuart: Yeh.

Philomene: Sweetheart...here, sweetheart...

Stuart: Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh....

Philomene: I love you, baby......I know...I know..

Stuart: Uh, uh, uh.....

Philomene: It's going to be all right.

Stuart: Uh huh.

Philomene: It's going to be all right.

Stuart: (sound of breathing)

Philomene: It's going to be all right. Want something....Ok. Here it is...

(Nurse brings in shot for pain)

Stuart: Jesus Christ is at that other place?......see it?....the name?...

Philomene: Yes.

Stuart: ....more ice...they...God...I eat my...oh...(groans) am I the

one.....my feet....as...I lose this horrible world...

(Nurse enters. The sound of suctioning machine. Breathing...)

Stuart: I am very Jewish.

Philomene: Aye! You are. (to nurse) He said, I am very Jewish!

Stuart: ..................hurry up.....

(Nurse has injection)

Philomene: They are going to give you an injection. You already had one at

12:30. Do you want it?

Stuart: Uh huh. Uh.............

(Nurse leaves)

Philomene: What did you say, Stuart?

Stuart: I could have...Could you give me more ice chips?...I could

have...Agony...You and now...The whole...

Stuart: (Laughing)   The Lady. I saw the Lady say.....Tell, tell, ....Tell......love.

Philomene: Love...Love.......It's ok.

Stuart: Uh huh. Yeh.

Stuart: (indecipherable) Oh...It's all right, no matter what the condition.

(The sound of breathing)

Philomene: Stuart.

Stuart: .............(Face changes).....(breathing changes)

Philomene: Do you see me Stuart?....Do you see me?

Stuart: Uh. Yes. I see you. I....I love you...See me.....easier....Here I am... Yeah. Yeah.

(Breathing slows)

(The sound -- Philomene strokes his forehead)

(Breathing slower, changes)

Philomene: Stuart?

Stuart: (Breathing slower)

Philomene: Stuart?

Stuart: (Breathing becomes very slow ...much slower. Changes..slower...Stops)

(30 seconds silence)

Stuart:  (A loud cry.)

(Raises his right arm, slams down fist, opens hand, and closes his own eyes. Dies)

Philomene: (The sound: Philomene kisses his forehead.)